Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
I'm reminded of a letter some poor professor wrote to Playboy about his inability to get vanity plates with the initials of his college on them. The man taught at the Tennessee Institute of Technology and honestly never gave the initials a second thought. When told by DMV that the initials were obscene, he started a market in monogramed tee shirts and ties (The ties said T.I.T. and the tee shirts for the ladies said "I like a T.I.T. man!)
During a blizzard, a parishinor of a Milwaukee parish was in a bad accident near Green Bay. The priest and nun from Milwaukee were driving up to the hospital the victim was in, in case last rites (sp?) were necessary. As they were driving, the storm got worse and worse. Finally they decided they would have to stop for the night because the roads were so bad. The only motel they could find was already full of stranded travellers. The clerk told the priest "Since you are a priest and all, I will give you a room for the night, but I just can't give you each a separate room, you will have to make do with two beds in one room." The priest thanked him and payed for the room. during the night, the power went out, and the heat went out with it. Luckily there were a lot of blankets is the closet. After a while, the nun asked, father, father, I'm cold--so the priest got another blanket and put it on her. After a while longer, she said "father, I'm cold, can you get me another blanket," so he did. After a while, she again asked for a blanket. This time the priest responded "I think in the situation we should pretend to be husband and wife in order to keep warm." The nun was stunned and didn't think it was appropriate, but he was the priest, so she really couldn't argue. She said "O.K., father, if you are sure its proper we can pretend to be husband and wife" to which he responded: "SO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET!"
Q. What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A. A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside. visit Fucking The Help for more.
YO!!! We are at existing again, this time around harbour Tyra Moore's, G's, 32G's that is!! A added than amazing size for a protracted set of juicy tatas. Tyra is sexy as hell and she loves to show the glory of her amazing tits. She loves to shake, squeeze and giggle her sizable breast, this piece is fun as hell. I swear when she pulled out that purple vibrator, I already knew what we had in store. She was ready and besides than vitally. The behaviour she plays with herself drives me crazy. Let me not forget her syrupy little jackass, tight mothefucking work. Jordan came over and pounded this sensuous vixen, he even stuck his cock in between those fun bags. The impingement job was just fuckinh awesome! Again wait we can't high hat about the way babe got down and fucked Jordan! Tyra, Tyra, Tyra.. wow what else can I say.. Well Fellas Enjoy this crazy encounter, I promise you won't regret it!!
This week on tug jobs we got Megan Jones. She told us that she was an expert in hands on cock love and that she absolutely loved giving hand jobs. So we told her to come by the bangbros shack and meet up with my pal Kayser who's been aching for a good tug. She was great she yanked and tugged his cock and didn't forget to massage the balls. She worked fast and then she slowed it down just enough to tease and not let him explode too quickly, until she was ready to let him squirt on her large tits
Mandy's fantasized about other girls for a while and she's finally built the courage to invite her sexy classmate, Janessa, over to "study". Things start innocently, but it doesn't take long for these horny teens to put the books down and study each other's pussies instead! Now Janessa will never think of physical education the same again! for more girls visit Virgin Teen Lesbians
When you see Denisa you may think she is a sweet, pretty princess but what you don't know is how much this princess loves to have a cock in her pussy. We meet on the street on a pretty day, and the first thing i saw was her gorgeous tits. I couldn't ignore this, so i immediately went for the price, and trust me fellas The price was right on the money. This sexy brunette is a piece of work her big tits and her nice tight pussy made for a perfect afternoon. I got to fuck her in the ass and it was fantastic, she told me when we first meet that she was not used to get fucked in the ass but apparently it was not very hard for me to get some. This one is one of those girls that certainly can trick you. I let you guys be the judge, click play a have a taste of the sweet, pretty princess.
Hey guys check this beatiful girl from Seattle. When I first saw her I thought she was very innocent, but as the shoot went by... she blew my mind and got my dick very hard. With her smoking hot boddy and her sweet smile she made me have a mental orgasm. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her myself. Look at her while she strikes the stud over and over until he couldn't hold it any longer.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 1/2 a brain? A: Gifted.
Q. How do you ~Censored~ a fat chick?
A. Roll her in flour and find the wet spot. visit Fucking The Help for more.
I was bored at home so I invited my friend Lorelei over to hang out by the pool. There was these two hot guys blowing the leaves. So i threw some babyoil on my ass and caught their attention.I quickly told them we wanted to fuck them. The pants came off and we had a nasty throw down of positions. Lorelei and I swapped cocks in our ass, mouth and pussy. How do you think i felt when 1 had 2 cocks in my box!MMMMmmmm.see more at flower tucci
This blonde beauty came to us by name of Simone with some huge natural tits. I mean they were some big juicy breasts. She came by knowing good and well that there would be a whole lot of titty worship going down. So we went from the beautiful backgrounds of the Cali hills where Simone massaged her round tits with baby oil to the point of sure erection to the comfortable confines of the crib, where it got even hotter. Add some baby oil and horny chick with huge knockers and a dildo and we have got ourselves a great masturbation flick to boot.
Malia is truly a DIME PIECE. This chick is a such a hotty man. I will definitely try to see more of her behind camera. Great ASS, Huge BREASTS and super cute face. If I was Reno I wouldnt have nutted on her face either. Just to pretty guys sorry. She loves DICK too man, she was moaning and groaning all thru out. Fuck me like this and Fuck me like that. She was driving me wild. Im sure you will all fall in love with her too. Well maybe not love...but a lot, a lot, a lot of like
A doctor sent a bill to his patient. Underneath the bill he wrote:" This bill is now one year old."Back came the reply: "Happy Birthday!"
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?” the cop asked. “Yes, I did. How did you know?” the golfer asked. “Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?” The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, “I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”
Hey guys check this beatiful girl from Seattle. When I first saw her I thought she was very innocent, but as the shoot went by... she blew my mind and got my dick very hard. With her smoking hot boddy and her sweet smile she made me have a mental orgasm. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her myself. Look at her while she strikes the stud over and over until he couldn't hold it any longer.
IRS agent to errant taxpayer: "But that's just the point, sir. We DO plan to make a federal case out of it." for more pics and videos Dangerous Dongs
Sometime in january this year.... Moscow -- A thief who fancied an attractive fur hat on the head of a passer-by got more than he bargained for when he tried to snatch it. The fur collar of the victim's coat turned out to be a Siamese cat, which sunk its jaws and claws into the thief, who quickly turned tail, the local paper Vologodskiy Novosti (quite a mouthful, eh?;) ) said in Vologda in north-east Russia. "There is no animal more frightening than a cat, especially on it's master's shoulders," the paper noted. The cat's owner had taken his pet on his walk as added protection against the freezing weather. for more pics and videos Dangerous Dongs
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.more pics like the one below at Just Sluts
There were these 3 guys driving back to Toronto, Ontario who were visiting some friends in Terrace B.C. As they approached Red Deer, Alberta, their car all of a sudden broke down. Luckily, they were near a house, situated on a great big farm. They rapped on the house door. A big, scruffy looking farmer answered it; "Yeah, what could I do for you boys?" The first guy told them about their car, and wondered if he could possibly give them a hand. "Well, it's too d*amn late out, I s'pose you could stay the night here, on the grounds that you keep yer paws off my wife and daughter. You folks stay in the basement. If you need help, we'll be upstairs." Gratefully, the guys accepted. At around one o'clock, the first guy though 'What the hell,' and decided to check out the daughter. He slipped out of the bed, and headed upstairs- the stairs, however, creaked as walked up. The first guy heard the sound of a shotgun being loaded and a gruff voice - "Who the hellizat?!" The first guy had to think fast! "Meow- Meow" "A whew, just the cat" the farmer said. The first guy went back to bed. About an hour later, the second guy decided to check out the daughter- He did what the first guy did, the farmer pulled out his shotgun- "Who the hellizat?!" - "Meow-Meow" "Whew, just the cat" and the second guy returned to bed. The third guy, not as intelligent as the rest, decided to check out the daughter. He climbed up the stairs, it creaked, and suddenly he heard the sound of a shotgun being loaded- "Who in the hell is that?!" The third guy had to think fast! "It's the Cat!!"
This Week I went to see about a Motorcycle at the Bike shop when i got there i meet up with this gorgeous beauty named "Simona". She looked hot and sexy on the top of a chopper. I asked to see some bikes and also i asked to see her tits because they were popping out of her sexy little dress. We walk inside the shop and this sexy girl show me her voluptuous set of tits and her nice wet pussy. I was so horny for this sexy beauty so i just fucked her on top of the bike she was showing me. I got a taste of her tight ass and pussy, she fucked like a rock star and when i cummed i make sure she got every little drop of it in her mouth. She really did a great job selling me that bike. I bought it right on the spot. I think Simona did it right, you should always satisfy your customers..Enjoy fellas!!
